Search Trendz

I write this blog knowing full well that no one else cares about it as much as I do or reads it as much as I do or thinks it is as funny as I do. I have spent my entire life preparing myself for my own inevitable failings, so the extent to which this blog is a gross failure and hugely unpopular comes as no surprise. But what really hurts me is checking my blog stats and seeing that pretty much the only people who find this blog (aside from through facebook) are people who google "potato salad recipe easy" or "simple potato salad recipe" or some other salad-related query.

Although I hate all these salad searches, I definitely welcome the people who are searching "penis in a jar, "mountain
of burgers," and "hungarian mangalitsa pig for roasting." (I really hope they found that pig--they're supposed to be delicious!)

And it doesn't bother me because I think that potato salad is disgusting and that no one should be eating it. It bothers me because why don't they just already have their own recipes? I thought that potato salad recipes were something passed down from generation to generation. Who are these pathetic idiots?*

*I originally used the term "moron," but then I looked it up on Wikipedia and: "['moron'] was once applied to people with an IQ of 51-70, being superior in one degree to 'imbecile' (IQ of 25-50) and superior in two degrees to 'idiot' (IQ of 0-25)." Who knew? In hindsight, "imbecile" might have been more accurate.