In Defense of Close Reading

I will be the first to acknowledge that I had my issues with this story, but at least I made it all the way to the end.

 Here's a tip for any of you who struggled to get all the way through this admittedly dense text: that weird shaggy dog wearing a hat ends up eating the green eggs and ham (pictured here as representative of Monsanto and GMOs) and is glad that he did.  I am not sure this is the best medium for the message.

Addendum: 

Seriously, people should really read this thing all the way through.