Look. No one is more understanding and respectful of picky
eaters than I am, but even I must draw the line somewhere. And that line is
drawn at no-cheese pizza. If you don’t like cheese, that’s fine: we all have
our burdens to bear. But don’t burden me with the knowledge that there is a
cheeseless pizza in our midst, slathered with various meat toppings. Cheese is an essential quality of pizza and you can't get rid of it just because you're afraid of being kidnapped by a Mexican quesadilla cartel.
Do you know that this pizza looks like? Like that
disgusting, rare, corpse-flower, rafflesia
arnoldii. I hate that flower. It smells like a corpse because it needs to
attract beetles and flies in order to pollinate because it is the worst. Why
can’t it just attract bees instead with a sweet, flowery smell like every other flower does? No wonder it's so rare. It’s also enormous. It’s the largest flower
on earth. It can be 1 metre across and weigh 11kg, so approximately the same
size as a pizza.
Disgusting.
No comments:
Post a Comment